Back to December
by PercabethRox2435
Summary: Where Annabeth breaks up with Percy due to the nightmares she'd been having.


**BACK TO DECEMBER**

_I'm so glad you made time to see me._

_How's life? Tell me how's your family?_

_I haven't seen them in a while._

_You've been good, busier than ever._

_We small-talk, work and the weather._

_Your guard is up and I know why._

_Because the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind._

_You gave me roses and I left them there to die._

_So, this is me swallowing my pride,_

_Standing in front of you, saying, "I'm sorry for that night,"_

_And I go back to December all the time._

_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you._

_Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine._

_I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right._

_I go back to December all the time._

Annabeth never dreamed that she'd ever break up with Percy. She never actually entertained the possibility of not being _his_. He stuck by her side, just as he promised. Maybe that was the issue. Maybe it was because he was too good, too close to her that scared her. Or maybe it was her nightmare.

Usually, she'd tell Percy all her nightmares. They had, after all, made a pact after Tartarus, that they'd tell the other their nightmares, to help each other heal. Ironically, it was her idea, and look what happened when she didn't follow it herself.

In her nightmare, she got injured after that empousa, Kelsi, got her in Tartarus. She was lying on the moist ground of hell, sweating and whimpering. Each breath felt like it was a task. She could feel her life fading in front of her eyes. Percy was slashing, his eyes dark and evil. He was becoming a monster because of her. Riptide was covered with so much ichor and dust from the monsters that he murdered, that it was shining gold.

"Percy" She groaned.

Percy met her eyes, and for a split second, she saw the green that she loved, but in an instant, it disappeared.

After killing the last of the wicked creatures, Percy ran to her. He crouched to her level; tears filled in his eyes.

"Annabeth, wait. Don't go okay. I'll get help. I'll go to river and…and get some of it. It'll help heal- "

Annabeth put her hand on his arm. (Later she'd wonder how she managed to dream so vividly about this. She never dreamed this vividly.)

"Percy" Now every breath was a laborious task to make. "I…. love…. you."

She managed to see Percy's tear-filled gaze on her, before slipping into the darkness.

Now in most of her dreams, this was the part where she'd get up all sweaty, next to Percy in their small bed in New Rome. However, this wasn't the end of her dream. The next thing she saw was all her family and friends dressed in black. Percy was holding a single lavender, her favourite flower, and was sobbing uncontrollably. Her dad was crying and so was Percy's mother, who had her arms around her son, trying to stop his sobs. Then her dream shifted, and she saw Percy, she assumed a year later, looking starved and the spark in his eyes was gone. He was holding a picture of her in his hand with her camp necklace in the other, his thumb rubbing the red coral pendant that he had gifted her so long ago.

"Annabeth" He sighed and looked out of the window from where he sat near the window sill. Suddenly, he got a strange look in his eyes, a look that reminded Annabeth of their encounter with Akhyls. Th next thing she saw was Olympus in ruins and Percy summoning his entire rage and destroying the entire throne room. Zeus stood in front of Percy, his master bolt in hand. When she saw Percy, she gasped, his eyes were black, all the life from them had disappeared. He became the monster she feared he'd become. The worse: It was because of her.

_You are not worthy of him. You bring out the worst in him dear child_, the voice whispered to her.

The next thing she saw was Percy shaking her awake. She touched her cheeks and realized that she had been crying. Percy gently placed her on his lap and wiped her tears away.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked as softly as possible. Annabeth shook her head, ignoring Percy's disappointed face. She knew she made it hard for them when she hid stuff from him, but her nightmare felt more like a warning than a nightmare.

After that, all it took was a few more similar nightmares for Annabeth to break up with Percy. The hardest thing was the fact that she broke up with him in their Anniversary, when Percy proposed to her. She can't, for the life of her, forget his shocked and hurt expression.

After that, they met each other awkwardly around town. Annabeth shifted with Piper, while Percy stayed with his parents in New York. They both tore apart their common friend's group. People were forced to choose between the two of them.

One day, Piper forced Annabeth to meet up this guy she found on the internet. His picture wasn't there, but the guy seemed decent (or so Piper told her). The guy ended up being Percy, and to say that the situation was awkward would be an understatement. She asked him about his parents, he asked her about her job. After half an hour of this small talk, Annabeth couldn't take it and grabbed her coat and ran out. It was too much for her take.

He acted so different around her, his guard completely up. It was not something that Annabeth could remember ever happening. But she understood why. He was willing to give her his life, and she stamped on it and left him alone in that December night.

_OoooO_

_These days I haven't been sleeping,_

_Staying up, playing back myself leavin'._

_When your birthday passed and I didn't call._

_And I think about summer, all the beautiful times,_

_I watched you laughing from the passenger side._

_And realized I loved you in the fall._

_And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind_

_You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye"._

_So, this is me swallowing my pride,_

_Standing in front of you, saying, "I'm sorry for that night."_

_And I go back to December all the time._

_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you._

_Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine._

_I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind._

_I go back to December all the time._

Annabeth remembered the day it was Percy's birthday, and ironically, a year since she broke up with him. She managed to rid her house of all the things that reminded her of him (there were a lot of stuff). She also remembered Piper storming to her when she found out about the breakup. She herself had to deal with Jason's death and whatnot. Annabeth felt super guilty about this, and so when Piper demanded to know what happened, Annabeth let it all out. She let out the fear she had buried deep within, the guilt and sadness that had been eating up inside of her when she broke up with Percy, _everything_.

Piper being Piper, and her best friend, just hugged her and muttered about how she felt a day like this might happen. She admitted that ever since that day, when they had to fight against the giant to free the Makhai, and Annabeth told her about the fear of Percy turning into a monster in front of Akhyls, she had a feeling deep down, that that one fear of hers might ruin things between Percy and her, but Piper refused to believe that something so trivial then, might actually break the super couple up.

So now, on Percy's birthday, she had her head on Piper's lap, her phone within her reach, yet seeming so far away. They were watching some episodes of Friends, with a pizza box left untouched. Piper got up to excuse herself to the bathroom, and Annabeth reached out for the phone, but mid-grab, she let her hand fall. She could distinctly hear Piper sigh and leave, but her kept asking herself, why didn't you take it. Why did you stop mid-grab? She wishes she knew why.

She remembers perfectly well how they spent each summer together in camp when they were just friends. Remembers how she fell for him in the autumn of their fourth summer together when they held up the sky and got the grey streak in their hair. Remembers feeling insanely happy when she saw Percy's disappointed look when she admitted her gut feeling of Luke still being alive. She thought that she could never be away from him. But each thought would end with a replay of the cold December night, when she left him for an irrational fear of being the reason, he'd turn into a monster all because of her. She wonders if she just made that happen.

(She doesn't like the answer that comes with it)

_OoooO_

_I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile._

_So good to me, so right._

_And how you held me in your arms that September night:_

_The first time you ever saw me cry._

_Maybe this is wishful thinking,_

_Probably mindless dreaming,_

_But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right._

_I'd go back in time and change it but I can't._

_So, if the chain is on your door I understand._

_But this is me swallowing my pride,_

_Standing in front of you, saying, "I'm sorry for that night."_

_And I go back to December._

_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you._

_Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine._

_I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right._

_I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind_

_I go back to December all the time._

_All the time._

It was finally in December (ironically) of the following year that she cracked. She just couldn't stand not being with him. She felt so empty, so _alone_. She had nightmares almost every night, so bad that Piper sometimes used to mix a little sleeping powder to her night coffee to help her sleep properly.

Her nightmares were the same. She would be back in Camp, during their September break, a couple of months since the Giant War. She was in his cabin trying to sleep. Ever since Tartarus, Nico, Percy and she got permission from Chiron to sleep with their significant other (since Nico couldn't stand to use the word _boyfriend_). So, Nico used to sleep with Will in the Hades cabin, and she with Percy in his cabin. To their relief, and also the entire camp's, the terrified soul-crushing screams had stopped. The nightmares had _almost_ disappeared. Key word being _almost_.

It was on this particular night in September, that Annabeth had a bad nightmare and woke up with tears in her eyes (also the night she made the promise with Percy about sharing their nightmares with each other), and she tried to find Percy, only to see his side empty. So, obviously she freaked and screamed out for him. She had a panic attack, thinking Hera played a joke on her and stole Percy from her again. Percy soon arrived from the bathroom, saying he was taking a shower and heard her cries. Annabeth all but flung herself at him, sobbing uncontrollably into his shoulder, breathing his ocean-like scent to calm herself down. Remembering Percy's eyes soften, his gentle embrace and warmth, his deep low voice whispering soothing words at her were the last things she saw before waking up. It was driving her crazy. She had to see him.

So, forgetting that she ditched him a year back, and all the other complications, Annabeth left a note for Piper and drove to Percy's house.

She found him in his front porch with a mug of coffee in his hand, and his little sister Estelle beside him, playing with some toy. He hadn't changed, still being the same person, she left last year. His dark hair was windswept, his green eyes dull yet still swirling with emotion. He had grown a slight stubble, but apart from that, same. What surprised her about him though, was the coffee in his hands. He hated coffee, so why was he drinking it?

As soon as she got out of her car on the other side of the road, she saw that he was staring out in the distance, gaze unfocussed. As she neared though, Estelle saw her and started shouting 'Nannabeth, Nannabeth', capturing his attention. As his gaze landed on her, she became self-conscious, realizing her haphazard appearance. She saw him breath in deeply, the green eyes she loved guarded. She hated that she was the reason why his eyes held that guarded look.

"Annabeth", he said. "What brings you here?"

She continued to gaze into his eyes, and suddenly, she wasn't nervous or scared. "Percy, I'm hear to apologize and explain why I left you a year back."

So, she did. She told him everything, from her dream to her insecurities to her deepest darkest fears. _Everything_.

Once she was done, she was crying and Percy was gazing into her eyes to see if she was lying. When he saw that she was being absolutely honest, he opened his arms to her. She sobbed and flew into his embrace. He still held her softly, his hands burning the skin he touched.

"Oh Annabeth, why didn't you tell me before. I could've helped. I've been an absolute mess since you've left, everything I do or see reminds me of you. I've started enjoying coffee since you've left because I had so much. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't Percy. I was so terrified and scared and anxious. I couldn't help but see your dark look every time I saw you. I couldn't help but blame myself. Then my pride refused to let me go back to you after I broke up with you. But her I am, swallowing my pride and telling you that I love you. I'd do anything to go back to that December night and change things, but I can't. So, if the chain is on your door, I understand."

"I'm sorry that I left those roses you sent me on my birthday to die on my porch, and I'm sorry for not opening up about this, but I still love you with all my heart. When I saw you on that blind date, it killed me to see you so guarded and cautious, I couldn't help but run. I love you Perseus Jackson."

Percy looked at her with so much love, it made her cry all that more. "I love you Annabeth Chase. I told you back then, you're not getting away from me that easily."

Annabeth smiled. "As long as we're together."

When they kissed, Annabeth sighed and felt herself become whole again. Her soulmate, her seaweed brain was hers again, and this time she was determined to never let him out of her sight ever again.

_Love has the power to mend broken hearts,_

_Has the strength to keep one sane._

_So, love with all your heart,_

_Despite the hurt and the pain._


End file.
